So… I watched The Hobbit‘s three movies over Winter Break with my sisters and I agree with Honest Trailers in that they do not need to be that long.  This is basically just Peter Jackson’s fanfiction where he rewrote The Hobbit with a twist, like many fanfic authors do, and this is what we got because he had the budget to make a live action of it.

For me personally this ruined my ships in that I didn’t have any.  I am a huge fan of unrequited love.  The angst that the person pining for has makes me happy in ways that should probably make me feel like a bad person.  However, I usually link this unhappy person with a happy couple a la the very overused for a good reason love triangle.

Now, I did sort of have ships for The Lord of The Rings in that Eowyn and Aragorn should be together forever, and that everyone in the Fellowship, including Aragorn, really really wants to date Frodo.  It’s funny, but despite my feeling that everyone and their mother is in love with Frodo, I never actually felt the need to read LoTR fanfiction.  I just felt satisfied imagining everyone pining for Frodo but no one ever making a move.

Based off of that, I kind of got sweet on the same with Bilbo:  everyone loves him but no one feels okay with actually dating him.  It explains why Bilbo and Frodo never got married even though as Bagginses they’re sure to be popular with the ladies, desire for adventure or not.

I discussed this with a friend and she called it “The Geisha Effect,” I think this is a perfect title for what I felt about these characters.

Note that I said “felt.”  Yes, I have changed my mind and it is all Peter Jackson’s fault.  I watched the first two Hobbit films with my sisters repeatedly telling me that Thorin is the worst.  By the end of The Desolation of Smaug I totally 100% agreed.  I also felt like the movies were totally backing up my idea that everyone wants Bilbo but no one makes a move schtick.  All those dwarves definitely want to be Bilbo’s harem, at least, that’s true through my fangirl eyes.

The Battle of The Five Armies ruined everything.  I didn’t expect much other than more of Thorin being the worst and probably dying.  I couldn’t be confident about what would happen because I haven’t read the book since I was 11 and Peter Jackson can presumably only stay true to his fanfiction.  Regardless, I cried like a baby when Thorin died at the end because all I could think was, “He loved Bilbo so damn much.”  I was so embarrassed but at that moment I so badly wanted his love to be fulfilled because even though he was the worst, his death speech was beautiful.  I was also heartbroken that Kili died since I needed him alive if I wanted Legoland to suffer forever constantly saving Tauriel only for her to run to save Kili.

So I went home and read some Hobbit fanfiction and now I am a hardcore Bagginshield fan (even if I don’t like the pairing name since it implies Bilbo tops and I haven’t found any yet where this is true).  I think this is long enough now, so I’ll have to write about my feelings about the fanfiction another time (Or never if this is hated)